Ahhh…It is that time of the year again. The amusingly cold weather, the smell of burnt gunpowder in the air, the heebie-jeebies of your parents transferred to you while lighting that extremely dangerous bomb and ofcourse the sweets. So many goddamn sweets! That, my friends, is Diwali. Wrapped up in 35 words. But there is so much more to it than only crackers and sweets.

There is family for the social bee,
there is food for the foodie,
there are gifts for the greedy
and love for the needy.

It is tacky, I know. Thanks for pointing it out anyway.

Happy Diwali

And that’s not where it ends. That is where it begins. A hectic day for basically every soul in every Indian household and a lovely night for most (read women don’t get to enjoy that much). While the shopkeepers make enough to buy a couple of gold bricks, the average guy is hit hard. Wow, I am diverting from the topic. The topic? What is the topic? BAH. Nevermind. This post is done. Happy whatever.

PS: The auspicious timings for pooja on 26th October 2011 for Diwali 2011 are from 6:03pm to 07:58pm in stable Ascendant (Taurus sign).

With my Open Letter To facebook, I had made it pretty clear that facebook was anything but stable. Since then, they have improved by great deal. So much so, that they have now even started predicting the future. If my sources are to be believed, then, this idea struck Mark Zukerberg while he was busy behaving awkwardly at f8. It is being said that Mark desperately wanted this feature — partly because he wanted to see what kind of spams and hacks facebook might have to face in the future, but mostly because he didn’t get any notification even after refreshing the homepage two hundred thousand gazzilion times.

So, together with Hrithik Roshan ‘s genius  father Rohit, from Koi Mil Gaya, Mark built a time machine which they have named [REDACTED]. Technical specs of the machine were unknown at the time of writing this post, but what is known is that the machine makes use of what the Neutrinos told us a few weeks back. While Mark was unavailable for comments, CERN conveniently decided not to respond to the several mails that were sent and calls that were made, asking about facebook’s new [REDACTED]. Below is a screenshot which proves that the time machine _does_ exist and is in fact working and predicting the future, if not saving it.

Let’s analyse this a bit

Sorry! You Entered An Old Password

Your password was changed at: Tomorrow at 152:am

If you don’t remember making this change,click here.

Call me a Grammar Nazi, if you may, but the typographical error where they forget to give a space after the comma “…making this change,click here” is the only thing that bugs me since we have already established the fact the machine exists.

UPDATE (2:00am, 14th October 2011): My account was hacked today. Exactly at the time facebook predicted it would. Thank you facebook?

So many cats have died in the making of this blog. Even though the number of rat deaths surpass that of the cats, I will ignore that for now because

1. I don’t really give a damn.

2. I don’t really give a damn.

Enough of that bullshit, I am in turmoil here. Writing weird stuff on my blog which is making you thnnk that I am a weirdo when I am not one. Let me get to the point. This is the 200th post on my blog! And ironically I am quitting blogging, temporaraly. This is due to various of reasons. One being that my PC is now dead and the second being my Final Examinations. The exams are not on the horizon anymore, they are in front of me. So untill further notice, chiao.

2011 came and I didn’t even wish my readers. But then that’s because I had already done so in my post Happy Christmas And A Merry New Year. Coming back to to the title of the post (which must have surely caught your attention), there’s a fact about the number 2011 which has been making round on Facebok, Twitter and perhaps someplace else also. The fact is that 2011 is a Sexy Number . No, it doesn’t man that you will get lucky this year and finally get laid. All it means is that 2011 is a Sexy Prime; In mathematics, a sexy prime is a prime number that differs from another prime number by six. For example, the numbers 5 and 11 are both sexy primes, because they differ by 6. If p + 2 or p + 4 is also prime, then the sexy prime is part of a prime triplet.

2011 is also the sum of 11 consecutive primes!

This is a guest post by Tom Deys. Tom who is a contributing writer at a variety of  financial and political magazines around the web.  If you would like to write for TheDolt’s Blog, do read our page Be My Guest; Write A Guest Post.

I’m a Patrick Henry fan myself.  Not that I dislike Che and let’s face it he has a cool aura, but Patrick Henry has always been the revolutionary that I can identify with. “Give me Liberty or Give me Death” is a timeless quote that not only encapsulates the American Revolution, but revolutions in general.  Let’s face it, when people feel they have no freedom they will fight.

Another interesting note on Patrick Henry, is that he was considered a radical revolutionary even by his fellow colonists.  The event that shot him to fame was what became known as the Parson’s Cause involving the Virginia Legislature commuting Tobacco into pounds to avoid a loss of money for those in the colony.  The Act had not been approved by the King, yet the legislature was determined to enforce it.  Patrick Henry defended the Act by arguing that “a king, by disallowing acts of a salutary nature, from being the father of his people, degenerates into a tyrant, and forfeits all rights to his subjects’ obedience.”

Earlier that year Britain had passed the Stamp Acts which taxed the American Colonies. Patrick Henry seizing this opportunity, moved five “radical resolutions” defining the rights of the Virginia Colony. This was only 9 days after he took his seat in the Virginian Legislature and was a mere 29 years old. Patrick Henry declared the Stamp Act unconstitutional and an abrogation of parliaments powers in relation to the Virginian Colony’s rights. Patrick Henry did not work alone and was able to bring his resolution to the floor of what was known as a conservative legislature with the help of Richard Henry Lee.  The two waited until the majority of the conservative membership was away from Williamsburg.

The five resolutions passed after Patrick Henry used his oratory skills to deliver a speech, which Thomas Jefferson described as surpassing anything he had ever heard. Henry’s speech walked the fine line of treason. In it he stated: “Caesar had his Brutus, Charles the First his Cromwell, and George III-may profit from their example.”

So if you ask me who our children should emulate if they are going to be revolutionaries…I vote for Patrick Henry any day of the week.  While Che may be cool, Henry wins for being both radical and influential.

I know you love this shitty Blog. Even I do. I know this Blog gets lot of traffic. Even I get (i.e road Traffic). But seriously lurkers (there, I said it!) there was no need to honor me in this way. You ask which way? See here (yes, you have to click it tubelight). Now that you are back (I know you didn’t click the link but I will still continue to ramble, at least that it irritate the living hell out of you) you probably know what I am talking about here. Yes that’s right. My name, Pulkit, (Why do you even read this Blog?) is a term on Urban Dictionary and apparently has been since late 2008!

I give you yet another opportunity to go visit the page.

The reason I’m not copy pasting the definitions here is because:

1. It’s way too flattering.
2. It has stuff written which doesn’t go with the ethics of my Blog (just kidding, it’s got to do with my family members reading my shitty blog).

One of the entries (out of four):

1. Person having a cellulite ass, much better than Kim Kardashian’s.
2. A person who’s ass gets noticed first when he enters the room and people say “ooh Pullu’s here!”.
3. Any desperate hairy pudgy person who’s face turns red when you talk about his ass.
4. A person who believes that all the girls only notice him and no other boy.
5. A person who nearly got in the Dps Rkp*eeee* video.(Ask him, he’ll tell you a nice swell story)
6. A person who regularly gets on Dr. S.R Kale’s nerves.

Ooh da Pulkit is here!!!

PS: Actually, now that I did stumble upon this, I went over to Urban Dictionary and found that many of my friends names are also there as terms. I tried to submit PulkitKaushik (Courtesy: Rachit “The ultimate cool person, a unique creation of god” Agarwal) a few weeks back but it was rejected

Giant Middle Finger (Milan) by Maurizio Cattelan

” ‘Officially it’s name is L.O.V. E. – so it stands for love – but everyone can read between the lines and take away the message they see for themselves.‘ “
–Maurizio Cattelan

Skype for the iPhone OS tells me that it won’t work on my iPod touch since I have modified slash jailbreaked my device. Now where exactly did Skype get to know about this?

Skype for iPhone: Your device is modified!

When I forgot to attach the file

Did you mean to attach a file?

You wrote “I have attached” in your message but there are no files attached. Send anyway?

The following video is not a spoof but the best a Haryanvi could try and enact/imitate the Black Eyed Peas. The starting seconds of the video are the same and even the whole video is same, but the audio isn’t. The singer man has dubbed his voice over the original sou. Its a must see! The rap is amazing!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDSzsxb_fgE]