Coming Out Of The Closet

Categories A bit of me, Blogging

Not, gay. Just saying. But read on if sexual-orientation kindred articles are not the only kind you prefer.

This blog helped me grow out of the cynicism in life, and it is matter of extreme shame and chagrin that I failed to maintain it. This blog is a living parasite now, with 200 odd readers a day to whom I cater outdated information and no inside scoop to my present life. All that is about to change.

For a long time I’ve hidden my innate interests from the people around me for a couple of reasons a) It takes time for me to settle for something, to realise whether it is a mere craving whose half life can be counted in days, or an ache building up, waiting to burst at the seam and affect life in unanticipated manners b) They say goals are best attained when not shared.

Poetry is one of such several mistresses I found. I remember when I was in love with this girl in 11th standard and wrote a terrible piece at the juncture of her leaving school.

It was not a love poem: because proclaiming love doesn’t entitle one to it.

The aforementioned poem was a garb of sentences ending with rhyming words with no coherence to the underpinning emotions. A dear friend Sanjana told me I had tried too hard. For a year then, I didn’t have the courage to pen down anything except articles. So, I waited. As it turned out, it was a splendid decision.

One day the mistress of poetry embraced me like a lover and has held on like a mother.

I’ve only written a score of poems since, and keeping aside the ones I lost owing to mobile phones I longer have, emotions I no longer have and experiences I no longer remember with striking detail, I have a few I’d like to share with everyone who may or may not know me.

Someone once told me, rather philosophically, in a deep voice with an aura of intelligence and experience – the things which are closest to our hearts must be guarded fiercely. Those things can be experiences, stories, emotions, insecurities and must only be shared with a certain few who we think deserve to know.

Such was the bullshit I agreed with.

Not realising back then what a grave mistake it was, today I wish to correct the mistake. Today I have decided to open up to the world and share what is closest to my heart; my poems. A piece at a time, hopefully a poem a day, till the supply gets exhausted and I have to force myself to pen down more.

Although force has never come of much use in love, I hope it shall come of use in matters of love.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *